McAfee-Rovio Mobile
Let’s face it – fighting viruses on your own computer gets really old after a while. You perform an hour-long scan of your hard drive, you quarantine suspicious files, you scrutinize them and then delete them one-by-one. To rectify this, imagine what would happen if McAfee tried to spice things up a bit by overlaying Rovio’s uber-popular “Angry Birds” interface onto its antivirus software. In this setup, suspected viruses appear on your screen as green pigs that you then have the option of eradicating with a wide arsenal of antivirus birds. Now if only someone could figure out a way to integrate “Farmville” into hard drive reformatting…
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WikiLeaks-CIA.gov
At this point, there’s pretty much nothing the United States government can do to stop WikiLeaks from acquiring and publishing vital state secrets. So in order to streamline the leaking process and to raise some cash to pay down the national debt, the government might consider licensing the CIA.gov domain name to WikiLeaks so the website can have easy access to U.S. intelligence databases.
Goldman Sachs-Google Wallet
Goldman Sachs, the oft-subpoenaed investment banking titan, has done a bang-up job making money for a wide range of esteemed clients including the Greek government and Col. Moammar Gadhafi. So with this in mind, why wouldn’t you want Goldman managing your digital wallet? Just think of the joys you’ll feel when you wake up to learn that all the money in your checking account has been invested in complex currency swaps and synthetic junk bonds! We’ve looked at a lot of bad merger ideas in this piece, but the only way to aptly describe this proposed merger is with the words of Goldman senior executive Tom Montag; in other words, this is “one [expletive] deal.”